The Concept of Innocence
by Error Cannot Reach Author
Summary: Ciel is thinking about what innocence is. Is he or isn't he? Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. And please excuse all the mistakes cause I typed this on my iPod. I will try and make corrections later. I was listening to Mad World by Gary Jules. And The Green Gentleman by panic at the disco.

Damn this stupid school. Why do they have to make this mission so difficult? And I have to sit through these incredibly dull classes. I would learn more from Finny teaching me. And he is a dimwit! And all these kids think they are learning something. Don't make me laugh! How do these lessons even apply to the real world?

Ciel started quietly laughing to himself when he noticed that the few decent kids in his class had turned to stare at him. "What?" He whispered.

"You started laughing when we started talking about war." one of other boys whispered back. Ciel shrugged before turning back to the front of the classroom. It wasn't a concern of his that they all believed that he was weird. All that mattered was that they solved this case as quickly as they could. Haha! Maybe if he acted weird enough they would move him to a different house and make it easier for him.

He stopped paying what little attention he had been giving the lesson and started focusing on what he needed Sebastian to do for him. Pretending to be a hard worker for someone else was hard work. Everything he needed done had to be within his physical capabilities. If not then all the students would become suspicious. And that was something that needed to be avoided at all cost. The P4 was already wary around him because of what happened when he spoke if the boy he was searching for.

Another reason for them to distrust him was not on the menu. He needed to get all if his fag work done, but that is easily taken care if when you have a demon butler. Then he needed his class work done and that was something his butler wouldn't do for him even if he was ordered to. So that was a serious pain in the neck. But Ciel knew he was well liked by his classmates and that they would have no problem helping him. And these lessons had been pounded into his head ages ago.

Lost in his thoughts he was surprised when he heard his name called out. Quickly sitting straight and turning to the teacher, he tried to figure out what was going on. Looking past the professor he saw that the word innocence was written on the board. It seemed like they had changed topics when he was planning.

"Ciel would be a perfect example of someone who looks innocent. Along with the other names previously mentioned. But what is innocence?" The teacher looked around the room and tried to gauge how many students were still paying attention.

"Innocence could be the opposite of knowledge. The more you know the less innocent you are. At least that is what I think." The poor boy who answered the question sat back in his chair, as if trying to make himself shrink and fade into nothing just so the attention would be gone.

"Yes that is a valid definition. Would anyone else like to share? No one? Well how about this, do your parents want you to be innocent?" Seeing that no one was raising their hand he picked a boy from the front row.

"Well, I guess they would like it to be a balance. They would like you to live a happy childhood without knowing about the real world, but they don't want you to be so naive that you are tricked."

"Does anyone else agree with this statement?" A majority of the class raised their hands. Ciel just continued watching and imagined what his future brother-in-law would say. Probably something about how Lizzy would always be innocent and she would never need to know about the true horrors of the world cause he would protect her.

How foolish that statement is.

The only innocent people in the world would be those not born yet. Those who haven't seen the world. Lizzy obviously knew about some of the bad things in the world. There is no way to take that knowledge from her unless you wanted to kill her. And he doubted that anyone would go that far.

"Phantomhive, do you consider yourself innocent? Based on what the class has said so far. All of you think about it. Do you consider yourself innocent? I want to see a paper on this tomorrow. Class dismissed."

With a wave of his hand, all the students dispersed to go on their own way. Each thinking about what they would put in their essay. And Ciel was no different. He knew that people didn't see him as a threat when they barely knew him. But to actually say that he looked innocent. They had no idea how many people had died on his orders. No idea what had happened to him when he was kidnapped.

If knowledge equaled loss of innocence than he was probably more evil than most kids his age and older. And there was the fact that he had a demon butler and he was going to be eaten when their contract was completed. Was it bad that he dreamed of when that would happen? How he looked forward to when it would all be gone?

Everything. The pain. The anger. The cold detachment that he forced himself to feel for everyone, excluding his butler. Knowing that he is weak enough to be swayed if someone protested enough. But he would push that aside. Going on with the knowledge that he would always be with his red-eyed demon if he went through with it.

As long as he kept that in mind he knew that he would push past everything else. What use did he have for people that were never there in the first place? They are stronger than him. But would they be if they were used like he was? Used and than almost sacrificed for a cult. He was lucky and he knew it. Using everything he has he knew he would push forward. Even on the days that he just didn't want to get out of bed.

Because the night before he had dreamed of his death. Of how wonderful it would be. How tragic.

He knew some people would cry at his demise and be truly sad that he was no longer walking the earth. But most likely a majority would be indifferent. Like his butler. Always his butler. His hair always so perfect. The leader. The seducer. The demon.

Sure he might be somewhat saddened at his disappearance. He was probably an insignificant little mark on the novel that is Sebastian's life. A comma. A simple space between words that marked a small amount of time that included his presence. There would be more people who would capture the demon's interest. Those who would last longer and be vastly more incredible than the poor boy.

So did his knowledge condemn him. Or was there still hope to be found.

Time skip

"Sebastian, do I look innocent? The truth." He faced his demon in the tiny office.

"Oh what's this? Does the young lord think that he can get away from all the darkness that surrounds him? But you definitely look sinfully innocent. How I love breaking that little charade." He leaned forward to place a surprising chaste kiss on the blue-eyed boy. Moving down he started to nibble on the boy's collarbone.

"Not today Sebastian. I am not in the mood for your games. I have a list of things that you need to get done." He tried to move away but the older male held him hostage. Still not removing his lips from the tempting lithe body.

"Oh but your poor servant needed some motivation to continue listening to his helpless master." He smirked down at Ciel. Who simply turned his head away.

"Fine you win. But I expect even extra done after. Like my favorite desert. To name one thing." And Ciel let himself be pulled into another kiss. This one more heated.

"Of course, young master. Anything you want, you just need to say." Sebastian mumbled against his lips. Tasting the sweet cavern that is Ciel's mouth. Trying to ignore the gentle pull that wanted him to take a piece of the sweet soul. Losing himself to his instincts.

And Ciel just sat there and took it. Trying to ignore the bitter taste of someone else. People that he had never met but had crossed paths with his butler. He knew that Sebastian had other people he went to for this sort of thing. That he had probably seduced some poor student for information, following his orders. Hell, probably right before too.

He wanted to trust his butler but...

He knew that this was just his nature. And he could do nothing to change it. Wouldn't want to because then Sebastian wouldn't be Sebastian. As silly as it sounded. He would take what little affection he got. From the one constant thus far in his life.

And the funny thing was that he didn't know why he would deal with it. Knowing that there would always be others. Never just him. It wasn't something he would usually do. But with his butler he just seemed to be breaking all of his personal rules and such.

So after when he sat at the table with a blank sheet of paper in front of him and tried to think if what to write, he drew a blank. He could be considered innocent of some ways. Did still blushing when he kissed his butler count? But overall was he? He knew what he was getting into and the consequences so...

Who knew this would be so hard.

A/N: Hello! Well hope you like this. And I am going back to sleep now. Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own kuroshitsuji. And I can use italics now so they are only thoughts. Some thoughts will be mixed in with his actions because I am trying out first person. So italics are when he is doing nothing except thinking for however short that is. Hell I am confusing myself, so just read and don't listen to me. I don't think I will include a lot of italics anyway. Warning I guess, some talk about sex. **

**Ciel's pov**

_Is it really possible for me to be anything other than evil? I made a contract with a demon. I do **things** with that** male **demon. And I enjoy it. I can't even bring myself to regret anything that has transpired. Everything we did, I willingly helped. Granted it would be painful if I wasnt helping him. But I never ordered him to stop._

_Was it the look on his face? The fact that he looked like he had just gotten everything he could ever want. Perfectly content. What is so appealing about my naked body? I know my skin is soft and smooth but that is because Sebastian always bathes me. And I have that horrible brand. It is humiliating that I have to be unclothed everytime. All the while, he only has to pull down his pants a little and he is ready to go. Did I let him do what he wanted because of how I found him that one time..._

I tapped my pencil to an irregular beat on my still blank paper. For some reason my eyes had begun to fill with tears. Was that how I truly felt about everything. Sadness. And it was these damn times that made it annoying to wear an eyepatch. Cause once I took it off I would not be able to put it back on correctly without help. And Sebastian was out searching for other people that had been tricked.

Oh well, I just need to get rid of the wetness at my eyes. I will worry about everything else later. It's not like I am going to have my contract eye wide open. Because that would just be plain ridiculous. But it doesn't mean I can't enjoy some fresh air on my eye. Setting the eyepatch on the table, I slowly opened my eyes slowly. Enjoying the time to myself. Until my gaze rested on the paper on the table.

A delightful shade of white. Not corrupted by stains of black. Every line straight and even. Each corner as unbent as possible. Did everything have to be an analogy about how I used to be?

How I wanted to abuse the poor paper. Fill it with words till it is as dark as my life. Could I put my life story on there? Would anyone believe it? If it was hypothetical?

And so I sat down and started writing.

**Time skip**

I turned in my paper to the front of the classroom just as I was leaving. I took one last glance at my handwriting that graced the paper with its presence. Filled to the brim. No spot left blank. It was way over the requirements. I had filled it with memories dating back many years ago. It had taken many pages to get everything that I deemed relevant to the topic. And no page contained any names. Well, true names.

The professor had sent out a notice that we didn't have to put our names on the paper if we didn't want to. So I had convinced everyone else to leave their name off. Not that I really cared. For some reason I was beyond caring anymore. Whatever would happen, would simple happen. I haven't given up on my revenge but the is in the long term. Short term I didn't care about what people thought anymore. They could all go rot in hell for all I care. I wouldn't ever see them again, regardless of where they went.

I am certainly never going to be welcomed into heaven. Not with all the 'wrongs' that I have committed in my life. Hell would be more welcoming, I believe. But I know that I am going to end up in Sebastian's stomach. So I guess in an odd way I will go to hell. Just not in my own body. And I will probably have broken down so much that you wouldn't even be able to recognize me.

I at least hope that I will get to play the violin one last time before I go. The wonderful music that can come from it. I sighed. I wouldn't be so difficult when it comes to studying if Sebastian would just let me play as I like. Going on about the bloody schedule all the bloody time. If we are always going to be late stop trying to have sex in random places and at random times. Stop thinking with your dick and get everything done on time. Stupid demon. That is rounding the corner right now. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Stupid saying that is looking more true by the minute.

"Hello Phantomhive. I need to speak to you later. So please come to my office after you are done with your work." He smirked at me.

"Oh certainly professor Michaelis. I will come as soon as I can." I pushed a fake smile onto my face. Gosh my face is going to be sore once this is all over. It was sore at that circus and that was barely any smiling in my part. I watched as Sebastian continued walking the group of boys surrounding him.

You want me to go when my work is all done. Probably take a long time you know. I might fall asleep before I can go. I smirked and chuckled at the thought. Yeah see you way later.

**A/N: Hello people. Well sorry it took so long. And I hope you like this chapter. Review please. I want to know how to improve. Or even if you just like it. I am trying to decide if there will be smut in the next chapter. I don't think I can write it well but if you want it. Please say. Anyway please review and have a good day. Comment on the picture for the story. Just to be random. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the series. Or whatever references I may make in any chapter. And a big apology for not updating sooner.**

**Sebastian's pov**

Walking down the hall I saw my precious young master headed towards me. Ahh his mouth slightly open as if he was ready to yell at someone. Hmm probably would be me. Not that I would mind all that much depending on the situation. If his voice was screaming my name...

I shivered at the mental image of him spread out on his too big desk. It went unnoticed by him. But to give him a hint of what was coursing through my mind, I couldn't resist telling him to come to my office later. While we may not be at his office I could still make the vision almost a reality with my desk. Smirking at his dishonest face that said that he would not he showing up tonight. As if he could run away from a demon that had a strong mental bond with him.

But I would let him know that as soon as he lets his guard down. Not a moment too soon. Nor a moment too late. Hmm what would be a suitable punishment. It has to be perfect or else what kind of butler would I be. A horrible one, that's what.

"Professor, could I possible ask for your help regarding the assignment for today?" Said some student that seemed to be following for a while.

"Of course. What kind of teacher would I be if I didn't help." Out of the corner of my eye I watched Ciel's face. Pursing his lips like there was something disgusting in the air. Covering a snicker, I led the boy back to my office. I wouldn't try to do anything to him. Or any of the other students here. I had Ciel and that was all that mattered.

But that doesn't mean I would ease his mind. It is always fun to see him quell his rage at the thought of other people using his property. Though the same goes for him of course. He is as much mine as I am his. And when the contract is complete then it will all tip in my favor.

After helping the young lad and generally confusing him. I found a list of the things Ciel wanted me to do and did. Unfortunately, some of them would probably have to be repeated. Not that it would take long for me to do. But then all the added things that bocchan would want and demand for. It all comes to make one giant list of things.

"Hmm bocchan refuses to give in it seems," I murmured to myself. Clearing my desk till it was free of all papers. It was time to go get him. And if he was asleep, well too bad. He would sleep like the dead after I am done with him.

**A/N: Hello people. God it took forever to convince myself to write the update however short it is. I feel almost obligated to write a lot for each chapter and I simply did not have enough ideas of what to do. Please review and give me an idea of what you would like to see.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own black butler. Only my horrible twisted mind.**

**Sebastian's pov**

Slowly walking into the room I noticed that he was buried under his covers. Pulling them down to get a better look at him, his eyebrows furrowed at the cool air. I chuckled at his innocent posture. Did he really think he could get away from me.

I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him into my embrace. I couldn't help but snicker as he pulled himself closer. As much as he hated to admit it, he acted like a completely adorable cat. And I would probably miss him once the contract was complete but I would handle that once we got there.

Though I would love to stay here and gloat that he was completely mine I had a punishment to give. As pleasant as it might be. He didn't have any right to try and stop me from taking what I want. And with that I picked him up and carried him out the door. From there it was a short trip to my office.

"Time to wake up Ciel." I crooned into his ear. I gently brushed back his hair from his eyes. I wanted to see the mark that I had made to claim him.

"Ngh what time is it?" He pushed further into my chest. I smirked.

"It's time for your punishment." He jerked back and seemed to realize he wasn't in his bed anymore. In a moment of shock he clutched onto my shirt. Forgetting that I was the person he was trying to get away from. But soon enough he remembered and tried to push me away. Tempted as I was to drop him so he could learn the hard way I didn't want his pale skin to bruise.

"Put me down Sebastian!" He yelled. Foolish boy.

"Unless you want everyone to wake up and see you in a suggestive position with a teacher I suggest you keep your voice down." I whispered. Quickly he quieted down. But I could only dream that he was going to comply with his punishment. Then again the struggle was what made it all worthwhile.

Soon enough we made it to the door of my office. Pushing the door open I set him down on my desk. He glared at me in what he must have thought was an intimidating manner. Chuckling I made quick work of locking the door behind us.

"Bocchan," I let the word slip over my tongue. "Are you ready for your punishment?"

"What punishment?" He sniffed in a haughty manner. "You wouldn't dare go against your master's wishes."

"Well if our wishes are along the same lines then it wouldn't be going against them, now would it?" Just like him to try and outsmart a contracted demon. But I knew he wanted this as much as I wanted it. I laughed. Ok maybe not as much.

What demon wouldn't want to make Ciel Phantomhive scream in pleasure? To turn that calm, calculated mask inside out just to prove that you can?

He was such a delightful contradiction. It was amazing that I would get the pleasure of eating his soul. Even if I had play his ridiculous game of master and butler. It just would make the last move all that much sweeter.

"D-do you dare suggest that I want this?" He stuttered when he finally found his voice again.

Sliding closer so my breath brushed over him I replied," of course you do."

Catching his bottom lip inbetween my teeth, I tugged gently. Smirking when I saw his eyelids flutter close. I leaned down as I pushed him to lay flat on the desk. Too caught up in the pleasure of kissing, he didn't notice as I stripped him of his clothes.

I stood back up to admire his slender body. Blinking up at me with glazed over eyes, he resigned himself to his fate. As if he had a choice in the matter. But I hoped his compliance would last into the rest of the night.

**A/N: And that is where I will end it for now. I will do my best to write a lemon in the next chapter. But I would like to know if any of you actually want it. And apologies before hand if it turns out to be a fail. Anyway sorry for taking so long. This has been wracking my mind for a while now but I keep getting sick and having to rest all the darn time. Heck I have another cold now. But review please. I love to hear from you.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji. But I do have four of the books and my imagination.**

**Ciel's pov**

_What's the use of denying myself this? It is not like I would confuse lust with love. He is a demon afterall. My demon._

I pressed myself closer, almost as if to bury myself into his clothes. Just because I was giving in didn't mean that I wanted to watch it all unfold. I would be much happier actually getting some sleep since our essays would be read in class tomorrow. Not that mine would be considered an essay. Most likely it would be taken as a joke. A horror story turned in.

One of his pale hands slid under my nightgown. I shivered at the sensation of his hand gliding over my small chest. Which according to Nina, wasn't getting any bigger. And then down to my waist. Which was getting smaller according to her. But I couldn't put much thought into what she would say about my figure now. He seemed to be taking his time, but that made it all the more powerful.

How he got his fingers wet so quickly eludes me but I could only gasp as he slowly pushed them inside me. Rubbing insistently on my rim, I could see his smirk clear as day in my mind. That he was able to do such things to me must make him proud. But why should I care?

He still eats my soul in the end. I still die. Life keeps going.

Such a morbid way of looking at things. Thank God my parents aren't alive to hear this. But should I be thinking of God while my butler places me in his lap?

Sebastian nipped at my neck. I jerked at this. Not the nip but the return to reality. That I am truly insignificant in the end. That I was just this demon's fuck toy for the time being. For how long could this really last. Years. Months. Days.

Time seemed to fade when I am with him. Even now as he helps my body rise and fall over him. I can make out the sunlight that slowly pushes night away. I have lost count of how many times I have come. How many times he has is easier to guess.

But soon he lets me rest. Satisfied for the time being. And I can go back to the land of dreams. Where things aren't always so grim. Where my heart's desires are always and will always be fulfilled. My lips curl up into a smile because I finally get to be with someone who loves me for all my faults. Even it it's only a dream.

_It's my death and even as scary as it sounds I cant help but feel at peace. I know I should be in pain but pain seems like such simple thing to worry about. And Sebastian is there. Like he always is._

_He says something about making it hurt less for me. Because somehow I deserve that honor from him. And as tempting as that offer is I know I cant accept it. I need to feel that pain._

_And so I tell him._

_He seems taken aback for a moment. But that soon fades. Smiling fondly at me he seems to understand. Expects that from me. Respects me for not taking the easy way out._

_I wonder why it is now that he doesn't seem to have to fake a smile. But I know I don't have much more time and that I don't have that much courage to ask._

_I open my mouth to say my last few words._

"Glad to know I could even surprise a demon. If even for a second."

**A/N: Well this is what happens when you feel slightly inspired after flipping through the manga books. And what the *beep*?! I feel like I just wrote an ending. Haha and sorry about the lack of lemon. It's sort of there but I didn't want PWP. And then it just turned out like this. Man it seems depressing. But it sort of mixes the anime and manga. Haha guess I just feel nostalgic about the first time I found out about manga. Anywho please review.**


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